& ♥
Friday, January 13
Visit to the DENTIST today is a total nightmare for me. Each step nearer to the clinic is like adding weights to my feet. I found myself dragging my feet there n my heart beat like nobody's business. Eventually, it's my turn arghhh n I ***d haha, as expected lah. Anyway, i went to extract my tooth n sme other things. Gota go back at ard march. Nightmare sia!!!!I'm feeling damm moody recently. Didnt know why.. maybe its becos of H-him. some of you may not know who the H-Him im referring to, but i shall not disclose yet. Only Joey n Jace know. Yup, our relation is purely friends only but do we behave like one? Our actions n words doesnt seems so lor. U r making me confused. I know abt the probs that we faced n tts TIME. Time is playing a fool on us. During e weekdays, one work n e other study n when it comes to weekends, one may need to work too. Yea, to u guys.. maybe this is NOT considered a prob, but for H-Him n me.. it really does.
N one thing. Can guys be trusted? Deep in my heart, i know he's truthful to me but somehow i still get the fears.. i really do.. time n again, i put my 100% trust in someone, yet to be deceived by him. This time i wanna be smart. I rather Play n not get PLAYED. Eh, but im true to h-him. Joey can see so too. It's up to him now.. sigh, somethings r not meant to be said here, so my feelings r like 50% being write out..
I hate it when ppl judge me by what they HEARD only. Excuse me, u R never onced me, so what the hell do u have e right to judge me when u r nowhere better? There r lots of things that cannot be commented just by listerning! U never know whats happening between me n those him. So please don't joudge. There's alot of things I dun say out to my friends, be it Joey or Jace or whatever. So pls pls plsssssssss dun pass comments on me. Thanks
n these few nights, i keep having dreams abt H-Him n Z.Q. It seems to real but the dream is opp of what's happening in real life. Sigh, i hate having dreams that make me cry. N i mean really cry k...
maybe like what H-Him say, "you stressed up ur mind n soul". This sentence is starting to make sense. My soul is stressed! if not, i wun be having those dreams.
n to YOU[though u wun be reading this]:
Dun bloody hell call my friends[Joey n Jace] on e pretense of chatting with em n start bullshitting abt me. You complained alot abt me. Dun push all da fault on me. It's 50-50 k. U tell me, which time when u go to MU with ur fucking friends did u actually take e initiative to infrom me b4 hand? So dun blame me when i dun contact u n stuff, cos i seriously dun feel like. Dun tell my friends stuff like "koni got come mu?" "No ar, better still" U think i wan see ur fucking face ar? I thought we can remain as friends, but since u wan do create all these rubbish, i shall do e same too! dun blame me for being childish if i stare hard at u next time. cos u dun worth my smile... I utterly disappointed with you... My heart hurts for once.. becos of you...
Yours Turly, Niko 12:50 AM ♥
